


es un escándalo (it’s a scandal)

by beneathyourbravery



Category: Big Bang (Band)
Genre: Anal Sex, Crack, How Do I Tag, I Tried, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I'm Sorry, M/M, Nothing is explicit, Recreational Drug Use, also, honest to god just pure crack, possible dub-con even though it’s clear it’s not
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-13
Updated: 2017-11-13
Packaged: 2019-02-01 19:15:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,454
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12711228
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/beneathyourbravery/pseuds/beneathyourbravery
Summary: jiyong is drunk, seungri has no excuses, things happenor, bigbang’s worst scandals are actually real fucking funnypure ass bad crack, don’t like don’t read





	es un escándalo (it’s a scandal)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [shiskatchegg](https://archiveofourown.org/users/shiskatchegg/gifts).



> READ THIS BEFORE YOU START!!!!
> 
> in case you don’t know about bigbang’s scandals, or even if you do, please have a quick look at this before reading, i promise it’ll make it funnier
> 
> Big Bang’s 7 Worst Controversies; T.O.P.: https://www.soompi.com/2012/09/19/big-bangs-7-worst-controversies/6/
> 
> G-Dragon marijuana scandal: https://www.allkpop.com/article/2012/02/g-dragon-breaks-his-silence-regarding-marijuana-scandal “I was intoxicated from the alcohol, and I just figured it was a really strong cigarette. I never smelled [marijuana] before, so I couldn't tell the difference. It looked like the cigarettes that I smoke."
> 
> Seungri sex scandal: https://www.allkpop.com/article/2012/09/big-bangs-seungri-caught-up-in-sex-scandal-rumors-after-release-of-pictures-by-japanese-tabloid-friday “Seungri has the habit of choking [the other individual involved] during sexual intercourse,'' "he ejaculated on her stomach and didn't help wipe it off, and rather just threw [her] a towel. In addition, he didn't even kiss [her] once."
> 
>  
> 
> TW??? the situation could be interpreted as dub-con even though i think it’s clear that it’s not but, just in case!!
> 
> also, let me apologize in advance for what you’re about to read

jiyong was drunk. not pissed drunk of course, but maybe just a little bit more than he should. it had been a pretty good concert, right before this party started, with lots of screaming jumping and having fun cause he loved his life. a good concert, because he was a singer, right? he sang and rapped and did it with other people, who were... nowhere to be seen apparently, with how dimly lit the room was. where the fuck was he, anyways? if he didn’t remember wrong they were in japan, but japan was a pretty big country for jiyong to look for his members on his own all over it.

where could they possibly be? god, they were gonna be the end of him. how was he supposed to be a caring leader for them if they decided to go and get lost in japan?! he was just a small man standing on his own in a strange room, and it was a pretty big room, that was for sure. big and dark and too deprived of bigbang members for jiyong’s liking. he was lucky he wasn’t too drunk though, or else he would be stumbling around looking for his children and tripping over some of the empty soju bottles on the floor- he thought right before someone caught him mid-fall, exclaiming a-little-too-loud “for fuck’s sake gd, you look about ready to pass out!”- . yeah, definitely not pissed drunk.

pissed, pissed, pissed. jiyong needed to take a piss, yes he did and he was gonna. he was gonna find a bathroom all on his own, like the big boy he was. a big fierce rapper, grr, gdragon coming for that piss right there. the toilets were already shaking in fear, he was too powerful, he told himself while he ran his hand over the wall as he walked blindly in order to hold himself upright and fuck this he was never drinking again ever

somehow jiyong ended up in the bathroom, and he took his long awaited piss without losing his composure at all because he was nothing but a model celeb. right as he did, he could feel all the alcohol leaving his body via his pee hole, he was sobering up really quickly and it was real scary so he screamed at the T.O.P. of his lungs because holy fuck what the hell was that?!

“gd hyung is that u in there”

“seungri-ah u won’t believe what just happened i just sobered up by taking a piss this has been really scary” jiyong cried out as he pulled his pants back up and walked out of the stall to meet his fellow band member “why are u in the bathroom if u arent taking a piss?”

“ah hyung u don’t worry about it, do u wanna smoke?”

“oh yes seungri that sounds like a real dope idea u got some?”

“yea hyung donut worry about it i got it all covered” seungri said as he started to roll up a joint expertly “here u go bro i hope it’s not too strong for u”

“oh what a weird cigarette this is” gd said as he lit it up and took a drag “and it smells real weird too! what a nice smell, nothing like the usual, i like this very much seungri, from now on i will only smoke the cigarettes u give me” jiyong said being oblivious as fuck poor him

“bro i got an idea” seungri said eyeing jiyong so hungrily his stomach actually rumbled “let’s fuck but no homo”

“fuck? i have never in my life heard of it before, but it sounds like fun seungri!!!”

_**pause.** _

jiyong: yes i consent to everything that’s about to happen even though i’m acting as if i’m oblivious as fuck what is weed what is sex i only know crack

_**start.** _

“nice bro now if u will please undress cause i wanna get down” seungri said taking off his clothes

“youre weird seungri” gd said as he threw away the blunt even though he wasn’t aware it was a blunt because what is weed?? isn’t it a big ass plant with them iconic leaves on the sides??? sorry he isn’t problematic that’s all up to seunghyun who goes on stage with lollipops fucking problematic shitfuck. gdragon was so powerful he threw the blunt away with such force it landed on the japan police station what the fuck am i even saying sndhsj and the police emitted an order of detention for the criminal who dared to smoke weed, the worst felony you can commit in japan korea or wherever this happened fuck

they both undressed and seungri had an idea right as he saw the [cute as fuck tattoo above jiyong’s bellybutton](https://data.whicdn.com/images/45115948/original.jpg), his hidden kinky persona coming to life as he walked over to his leader and pushed him till his back was against the wall. “wow fantastic baby” he muttered before pushing his dicc right into the older without prep bc this is a crack fic fam dont expect me to write smut im just a slave for the crack. right as the f**king was taking place jiyong wondered if this was like what happened in the movies they all watched on certain nights at the dorms where the rest of the members would get frisky with themselves by watching naked people kiss on the screen while jiyong tried and failed to find a decent plot in the projections god damn it he was such an innocent and oblivious lil cutie

“seungri will u kiss me like in the movies”

“no hyung, NO HOMO”

seungri’s reply wounded gdragon’s feelings because he loved everyone so much and why wouldn’t he give him a kiss? fucking disrespectful maknae-

“but can i choke you hyung?”

“if it’ll make u happy yes of course” jiyong said because he was nothing but pure kindness and if doing that would make seungri happy he’d let him do whatever he wanted

seungri’s inner dom wrapped his hand around jiyong’s neck and he felt so powerful having the gdragon like this he got so close to cumming but he couldn’t cum without culminating his ultimate sexual fantasy. seungri pulled out and jacked off till he came all over jiyong’s stomach, his cum covering the cute tattoo on his belly button and seungri had never been so satisfied in his life fuck

“seungri u dirtied me u disgusting ass” jiyong said as he used his phone to take pictures of naked seungri so he could remember this moment - he loved taking pics of everything he shared with his members to remember it forever ok

“sorry hyung clean urself” seungri replied throwing a towel at jiyong before leaving in a hurry since he could hear police sirens approaching and he did not want any scandals involving him lmao bitch u thought

jiyong got sad cause seungri didnt even say bye so he cleaned himself and got dressed when two police officers bursted into the bathroom and took him with them cause he had been accused of smoking weed by a half smoked blunt that had mysteriously appeared at the police station

gdragon cried when the tests of drug usage came out positive cause he had no idea what a blunt was, he had never in his life seen or smelt one so how could he know if he had smoked???? he was sure doing drugs involved watering the weed plant at least and on T.O.P. of that he had to act as if he had been really drunk when he threw that weird cigarette away, since nobody would believe that he was so powerful he managed to piss the alcohol out of his body, oh how difficult it was to be him. the police officers were too charmed by jiyong’s cuteness they let him off free of charges cause being gd is all you need to win at life, call him god

jiyong walked back to the hotel room since he hadn’t been drunk for most of this fic and he could actually remember where he was, he got into bed with top once he got there and told him all about what had happened with seungri because wtf was that????? jiyong showed him the blurry naked pictures of the maknae as well and top decided it’d be a good idea to play a joke on seungri for not wanting to kiss jiyong when he was obviously the cutest person on the entire planet and who the fuck wouldn’t want to kiss him fuck my life

if afterwards they all laughed reading the headlines regarding seungri’s sex scandal, they could blame it on the weed

**Author's Note:**

> sorry


End file.
